The Tech Know Guy

Steve said,

We’re like salmon. We’re going upstream

But we don’t know why.

We’re not sure where we’ll end up

Or why we’re going this way and that way;

Sometimes we think we know but we don’t.

Steve said,

We’re only using four percent of our minds;

At most.

For all I know, I’m just a monkey

Banging on this keyboard,

Thinking more than I really am.

Steve said,

What’s great is that it doesn’t matter because

What we don’t know can’t hurt us.

Ignorance is bliss

And the gaps in my knowledge

Are what keep me swimming upstream

Chelsea Smallwood

6/22/11

Sweet Disposition

Situations situations

Painful physically, emotionally, mentally

Unstable, a thin cable

A balancing act

It’s all an act, a show

To show you what you’re doing to me

and I’m doing to you

To prove how I feel

How I don’t feel, that lack of

Something, anything, nothing, everything

All at once, all new stunts

A whole new dance

So unrehearsed, unprepared

For what comes next

Completely whimsical

Impulsive, compulsive

Naively jaded, slightly faded

Into reality, no punctuality

No apprehension, suspension

For questionable operations

But oh the sensations, what a feat

A whole new beat to a whole new song

Where we find nothing wrong

Even though this is all so obviously wrong

But we let it go on and on for so long

Such a beautiful melody

Such a sweet disposition

Sensory Deprivation

Used

Abused

Controlled

So bold

You hold me back, you push me away

And everything you say is only said

To confuse me, profusely.

Efficiently and effectively

You’re losing me here, dear.

Do you hear what I’m saying

Conveying, praying for you to understand?

I’m not that difficult to comprehend.

Bend the rules, just once more.

Ignore, ignore that little twinge

Of what’s right and what’s wrong.

Stay strong, hold on

Lie to me and pull my strings

These things that you do to me

There nothing but a memory

And your grip, its like sensory

Deprivation, what a sensation

The way you make me feel

This isn’t real, so perfectly unrealistic.

Sun in an Empty Room

It was all in my head,

it's still all in my head

It's progressing, you're luminesing

you're breaking my heart and I'm falling to pieces.

You're ceasing to care

Still, the smell of your hair catches my attention

as the wind blows by

that electric scent, that eccentric decent

and you're bending me backwards

even though you're half ways around the world

because all your secrets are being unfurled

I'm being hurled back to reality

all this sensuality is just in my mind

You're still trying to find my sanity

but your vanity is driving me insane

and all this rain that is falling from the sky

is drenching my sense of self worth

ridding me of all new birth

quenching my thirst and reminding me

of that first day we met and I

started setting out our future

but there was no future,

it was all in my mind and all this time

there was nothing to find

No sanity, no sensuality,

nothing but vanity and a door

and behind that door an empty room.

An empty room with a little bit of sun.

Totally Fire

Red hot coals that light your eye

And start to dim when death is nigh

The burning son that heats the earth

No sooner makes us with new birth

Or fire that ignites with hate

That melts away the gold bared gate

A blazing soul when love is here

And losing this is what we fear

Its time to grasp your one desire

Why not become

Totally Fire?

Consistent Inconsistence

Always changing

never staying the same

as the rain pours down all around

washing away out psyches

your psyche, my psyche

one psyche which leaves us with nothing

something always different

your different from me

and I’m different from you

but only in way that’s allowing the impossible

so lets just say we’re the same

leave the blame too someone on the other side

no need to abide by the rules.

and that’s just the best part about it.

Another Day

Let’s pretend we’re from a different world

a different time, a different space.

A place that can’t be traced by human hands.

Let’s discover new lands, walk upon new sands.

Find something that makes everything worthwhile.

Begin to realize that you don’t have to fake your smile.

Just feel who you really are and not worry about

how far you’ve gone or how far you still have to go.

Just let go and show that you can love

something, someone more than yourself

Stop trying to hide and abide

by the unwritten rules of society.

Propriety is not your priority.

Just breath, breath that sigh of relief

let go of all that grief that you’re holding on to.

Start to do something that’s worth your time

and without even realizing it,

you’ll see that the world you pretended to be in

has existed all along.

Oh So Many Years Ago

Forgetting the unforgettable

and remembering what we forgot.

Halting to see what we used to notice all the time

And learning how to live like the rest of the world would.

Only smiling when necessary

and not necessarily smiling when we really want to.

Forgetting what it felt like to not worry

and saying words we never thought we knew.

Never meaning what we say

and never saying what we mean.

Failing to recall what the embrace of the ones we love felt like

and a new disregard for our initial reactions,

just because you think its what some one else would do

in that same situation.

Taking time to gather our thoughts

and think of something to say while drowning out the urge

to say the truths of the matter.

Remembering to pretend to love or to hate

instead of feeling what we really feel.

Its all just another part of growing up

in a world where nothing makes sense.

These words are my certainty

and they’re always for you.

Over the Pond

Seeing, believing

Trying to believe in something I can’t see

In some one I can’t be

I try so hard, fall so far

Get back up again

And spend some time trying to figure out who I am

Or who I want to be

So I look for the real me

And realize I’ve already found myself in some one else

So we laugh and laugh at our new discoveries

And discover something that’s gone unnoticed

All these years, something that’s been drowned out

By so many unexplainable fears

And we’re sinking deeper and deeper into

What we thought was what we wanted

And our emotions have been stunted

By what we thought was some thing great

But fate has caught up to us once again

So we run faster and farther then we’ve ever gone before

Then the ground starts quaking and my hands start shaking

And my bones, they’re breaking and you’re taking

Everything I ever gave you

So you begin to see a different side of me

Or who we both thought I’d become

Suddenly the realization that you we’re becoming me and I, you

And as this scattered breathing began to slow

the trees that once blurred together just disappeared altogether

And we found what we we’re looking for all along

Which was nothing like we thought it would be

But was so much better than we could have ever imagined.

Only in a Different Universe

Hands in pockets

Silent conversations

Dreams revealed

Secrets shared

All the pain

Insane, inane

Anger showing on my face

In some place

Without time, without space

We pass by

A nod, a wave

You’re brave with you words

Word unheard

Helpful hints

Advice taken just because of its source

My blood courses through my veins

Through your veins

To my heart

Falling apart

To pieces, in pieces

Everything ceases, deceases

I’m dismissed with a friendly smile

Even though it’s been awhile

Since I’ve seen your smile

And I wonder where you’ve been

All this time, all the time

My thoughts absorbed with words you’ve said

And words unsaid

Thoughts drifting by

And once again dismissed with a sigh

An awkward silence

This is the science of my mind, of mankind

Trying to figure you out

You laugh at my attempts

I laugh at yours

And we both just accept that we’re two different people

You grow quite, I grow curious

You soon turn serious and everything ends just like that

But I still love you just the way you are

Even though since last I’ve seen your smile

You’ve changed

Blissful Ignorance

Stripped of blissful ignorance running at a hundred miles an hour

as your childhood is stripped from your hand

you realize that your reality is a lie and that you can only survive

if you submit to your imagination.

The creation takes over

turning everything that once was into a past that is quickly forgotten.

You venture into the unknown land that is your mind

and what you find is who you are outside of yourself.

The further you dig inside

the further your being will subside.

Now what you have dreamt has taken over.

This is your reality.

Welcome to the cycle of life’s forgotten path.

The Façade- The Reality

You seem to understand that what you say

Doesn’t matter at all and what you do

Means everything

You seem to understand that what I say

Doesn’t matter at all and what I do

Means everything

And if this is true

Then this is nothing

Because there’s only been words

You seem to understand

That what I say and what you say

Mean everything in the world

One by One

I can see you standing there

Feel you everywhere

As the moments pass by

Quickly

Swiftly

I put my hand against your face

But you’re not real

The feel of your skin isn’t real

What I see isn’t really there

And everything begins to disappear

One by one

We fade away

And the years go on

Leaving us with a bitter happiness

The universe soon follows

Dwindling

Diminishing

So I close my eyes

And imagine what will keep me alive

In a place where life doesn’t exist

Yes, you’re there

You’re always there

Home Sweet Home

Close your eyes and imagine a place.

Its dark, its bright.

Its happy, its sad.

There’s good people

And there’s bad people.

A place where fire burns the flesh

Of whomever it chooses

And a place where ice slowly kills and preserves

Anyone it chooses to.

This is place

Where tears are shed

Weather you’re happy, sad or in pain.

A place where blood is shed.

More often then not.

This place is a place

Where love can either hurt you

Or help you.

And a place where even the impossible is possible.

Open your eyes.

Now realize this place

Is all around you.

By the Moon

Rest you dear eyes, no tears shall you shed.

I’ll watch over you as you now rest your head.

Sleep peacefully, quietly, sleep all you want.

I shall protect you, though through night he might hunt.

He may come for you but I will be there

Protecting forever, my love I will share

You’re now safe with me I won’t let you go.

I’ll take him down, since he too is my foe.

You’ll wake in the morning and all will be well.

I’ll sit with you there in the light that is still.

We’ll laugh of old fights and sing of good times,

Those good and bad memories we now turn to rhymes.

You are now safe, the fight, it is done.

You’ll rest well at night, no longer you’ll run.

The ending will come, now not so soon.

Now rest by the night, by the light, by the moon.

Picture Perfect

Its funny how I can’t seem to look away

My smile never fades

He laughs a gentle laugh

Click, click with the camera

Watch him carefully

Watch his movements

When they stop they’ll never start again

Stopped by life

Life is death

And even then life goes on

Only for the strong they say

No, we’re all weak and broken

That’s why death comes so soon

A black cloud crushed toward us by the weight of life

Gravity and time join

Gravity pushes our life onward

Pushes just as much as time does

Forcing us closer to the end of the journey

Then you look back and wonder where all that time went

Wonder why even after death time doesn’t seem to stop

Measure eternity

Just to see how long you can hold on

Like a race

A race that can’t be won

And that’s just the way it works

You live to live

Not to die

It’s just the outcome of it all

Then they ask why try

Why not try?

They say you’ll die either way

No, not really

I’ll just be living some where else

A place where time and gravity doesn’t exists

A place where your not living to die

A place where your not dieing to live

A place where everything makes sense

Like a dream you never have to wake up from

Where bathing suits, taxidermy and Jay Leno all seem to make sense just of the highway

Maybe we’ll see each other

Hang out in the yonder

I’ll catch some waves

Click, click as a fall

Just see what happens

Just wait and see